By Liz

In honor of the summer Olympic games going on in London I’d like to imagine what the Bus riding Olympics could look like.  Do you have what it takes?  Will your picture end up on a Wheaties box?  Here are some possible events and even a play by play of an exciting match.

Sea Legs: Best balancer of coffee, bag, phone, and bus pass whilst heading to a open seat while the bus has already started moving.  Most riders are likely familiar with the sensation of the bus moving after you’ve started down the aisle looking for a seat. With your back to the road ahead, you’re not sure when the next breaking will to happen.  You steady yourself as you take three steps forward, one back while trying to grab on to the nearest pole avoiding the riders head with your bag as you pass them.  Points go to most stylish walk down the moving aisle (well the aisle is not moving, but the competitor and the bus are moving), zero body contact with other riders and their belongings (Lady get your bag out of the way!  Think of the childhood game Operation), and dismount of your tush in a seat without spilling your coffee or messing up your hair. 

Flag Down the Bus DASH: Players round the street corner to find the bus departing the stop.  While avoiding pedestrians, cars, benches, and the random fire hydrant each competitor must make it to the bus before they take off too far down the road. 

HANG ON TONY HAWK:  Formally in the Bus Olympics X Games the popular skateboarding behind a city bus made it to the big show this year.  Competitors will have to complete 3-6 tricks while weaving in and out of London traffic while on the back of a bus.  For the London flare, they’ll have a second round where they are trailing a double decker.  Ohhhh!

Polite Exit: It’s the end of a long bus ride and a long day… You have to pay the fare as you depart the bus while saying thank you (or some other polite  remark to the driver), and exit without falling on your bum or holding up the other 5 -10 people exiting the bus.

Imagine the commentary for this ‘Polite Exit’... Dandy Fine from MSNBC48 “Welcome back to Bus Olympic Coverage 2012.  We’re here today in London, a balmy day as the final Polite Exit rider; Grand Rapids, Michigan Born Liz, who has trained in Seattle, WA for the last three years is ready to start her heat.  You can see as the bus is slowing to the stop where she will exit near Kings Cross Station.  She rolls her head, stretching in her seat and gets her items ready as the bus stops… And she’s up!  Standing the second in line waiting for her exit to happen. Six folks are behind her, including Canadian Celebrity Judge Michael Buble…  Is that Orlando Bloom sitting in the front of the bus?  Oh, these Brits are pulling out all the distractions.  Liz keeps her cool while passing the beautiful actor.  Michael Buble starts to sing a popular tune to add to the distraction meter, but Liz has trained hard and avoids the songsters hypnotic croon.  Her metro card in hand she’s ready to swipe it, and starts to smile to state her exit remarks.  OH, no that is a first for the games, she got the red alert, card is out of money.   You can see her demeanor stays cool as she is a seasoned pro this one, she reaches up to her pocket takes out British Pounds and feeds the meter.  Here comes her exit line with that smirk  smile she’s known for, “Cheers!  Have a lovely evening.”  And she’s off.  That was A-MAZ-ING!!!!  Her coach Jamie gives her a high five as they wait for her scores best of 6.  Now she’ll need a 33.8 or higher to beat Betty from Australia and take home the Gold for USA.  This is going to be a close one.”  

“And the scores for Liz of the United States of America: Canada 5.8, China 5.5, France, 5.6, Japan 5.5, South Africa 5.8, Spain 5.7; total score 33.9.  Liz wins gold.” Announcer lady then states in French.

“LIZ WINS GOLD, USA WINS GOLD”  Dandy the commentator screams into the microphone. The camera shoots to Liz as she is shaking the hands of the silver and bronze medalist.  Smiles gleaming from her parents and sister as they are waving to her from the stands.  Dandy’s voice looms over the coverage “And that’s it Polite Exit, back to Bob Costas in the Studio where he’ll bring the highlights of underwater bus diving.  Back to you Bob!”

If only right… Well at least I gave myself a fake Gold Medal.  Enjoy the real Olympic games and GO TEAM USA!!!!