Tick Tock...

By Liz

Time, that fickle friend, some days and weeks time is totally on my side.  These past few weeks I wonder what unspeakable thing I did to Father Time to make him so perturbed with me.  On a good day I have plenty of time to accomplish my tasks, make the bus to work on time and be an all around productive member of society.  In the past week or so I seem to be off a beat so to speak.  Is this just a time slip? Let’s hope so. 

In the past week or so, my mornings never really seemed to click and time would just pass by before I could accomplish all my tasks.  I kept missing bus after bus and was cutting it way to close to make it to work in a not quite on time state.  I was in this constant Jessie Spano fritz “There’s Never Enough Time” moments where I would almost start breaking down into singing “I’m so Excited, I’m so, I’m so….” Bawling into Zach Morris’s arms because I had popped one to many caffeine pills.  Oh Save by the Bell, you are a long time companion to this kid.  Anyhoo, don’t worry I did not pop caffeine pills, Starbucks did it’s job this week keeping me caffeinated.  

Time is not on my side the therefore, I have a few choice words for Father Time this week.  FT, first off, what’s up with the long soup catcher?   I actually imagine Father Time on the top of a skyscraper in a large metropolis.  One that has a big clock tower.  You can see it right.  There are cool gargoyles with long beards like Father Time.   Inside his timeshare loft he has floor to ceiling clocks everywhere.  Grandfather clocks, Cuckoo clocks, hourglasses, pendulums, carriage clocks, you name it he’s got it.  This room reminds me of Captain Hook's nemesis the Tick Tock of the clock in Never Never Land. 

Does FT play with us and his timekeeping devices just like a kid with legos?   Us mere humans walk around with translucent clocks above our heads that only FT can see.  We’re just going through our days and depending on how sadistic or sardonic FT wants to be, he’ll toy with us.   Look at Liz, she’s in a hurry… Let’s see how she handles it when I tweak her clock and speed up her time today.  Muhahahaha….. This is so much fun.  What do we have here?  Yes, a room full of people waiting at the local DMV.  Now I’ll slow their clocks down to make time pass in the slowest way possible.  Muhahahaha.

FT you need to work on your laugh, it’s not nearly maniacal enough.  Well, this week it feels as though FT is a villain out of a fairy tale.  Realistically, FT is probably an sweet old man that just putz through years in a never ending loop. 

Anyhoo, to sum up my issues with time and the bus here is a run down.  In the past week I’ve watched 4 busses that I had intended to be on fly by as I was waiting to cross the street to get to the stop.  I misunderstood a bus route and ended up waiting and getting on at the wrong spot which meant waiting around for 30 minutes for the next one to make it’s way to the stop I should have been at all along.   There seemed to be about 932 other issues that I cannot remember well and frankly don’t want to bore you too much!

So, now I’ll go home and hopefully reset my clock.  I will not confirm or deny that vodka may be part of this clock resetting, but I will say chances are high.   Tomorrow is a brand new day an FT will be on my side eventually.